Harry Potters Padfoot Problem
by helpthehorriblelovethelonely
Summary: Harry defeated Voldemort at the department of mysteries in his fifth year, he wakes up in the hospital days later with Sirius sitting there, having been sent back from the veil. They become close over the years following, but he hadn't bargained for falling in love with the man. As his 7th year starts, he begins to avoid Sirius, until he just can't anymore.


2 months before Harry Potters 16th birthday, he became the first ever person to survive the killing curse twice, and defeat the greatest evil wizard of all time, all in the same day. Harry had just watched what he thought was his godfather falling through the veil into the afterlife. Harry was so distraught that he followed Bellatrix out to the main part where all the Floo fireplaces were, there, standing in the center of the room as if waiting for him, was Lord Voldemort. Rage filled Harry, he felt pain and fury and despair and all the emotions he was never allowed to feel bubble up inside of him. the crazy bastard shot an Avada Kedavra at him, but the spell just soaked into Harry and didn't even phase him. Voldemort had tried to send him another vision, had tried to pull him back into his mind, but Harry was sick of it. Sick of all the pain this man caused him. Harry went with Voldemort into the others mind, he let out a blast magic once he got there, practically exploding the dark lord and all of his stupid horcruxes right then and there, the magical force shook the building around him. Harry was shot back into his own mind, he saw the disintegrated remains of Voldemort, he saw the aurors pop in, and then he passed out.

When Harry woke up in the hospital 3 days later, he was surprised by all the people who were waiting in the room with him. Ron, Hermione, Remus and Sirius were all sitting in the room waiting for him. Harry was about to feel comforted when he finally processed the fourth person who was waiting for him to wake up.

"Sirius?" Harry croaked, looking up at him as if he was a figment of his imagination. Sirius shot his head up and his shoulders slumped when he saw Harry was awake, he stood and went over to his godson, taking the boys hand in his own.

"It's me, Harry," he said softly,

"H-how? What? What happened?" Harry asked, his head was spinning, he was so confused. Sirius gave him a small smile,

"I'm not exactly sure, one moment I was floating, then the next I was being ejected back to the stone floor outside of the veil." He ran his thumb along the back of Harrys hand, Harry seemed to relax into the bed.

"weird." Was all he said, he heard everyone in the room laugh softly at his comment. Things were going to be okay.

6 months after Harrys 16th birthday, Sirius finally had the trial he should have been given 15 years prior. Harry was there, in the room of people watching over the hearing, he was elated when he heard them say that Sirius had been exonerated and all charges were dropped and that he was free to go. The gavel was hit to end the hearing and dismiss the audience. Harry jumped up and ran over to Sirius who caught him in a tight hug.

"You did it Sirius," Harry said quietly, "You're free. By tomorrow morning everybody will know you didn't do it, you'll be able to live your life now," Sirius just hugged him tighter.

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

That was how they made it to this point. Harry had turned 17 only a month ago, it was the first of September and he was sitting in the great hall for his last welcoming feast he would ever attend as a student. He looked up at the head table and scanned the professors, his eyes landing on two people he couldn't help smiling at. Best friends Remus Lupin and Sirius Black sat at the head table writing something back and forth on a piece of parchment while Dumbledore spoke, Harry wondered if they were actually playing tic-tac-toe like he thought they were.

Remus had come back as defense against the dark arts professor for Harrys sixth year, with Voldemort gone the curse must have been broken because here he sat again for his second year in a row. Sirius, as he was announced, would be helping Remus in classes to both teach the lessons and help the students with the material. Harry was beyond excited to have Sirius at Hogwarts, to have him nearby.

Harry climbed up to the Gryffindor tower that night after the feast with a grin on his face, he couldn't wait to see what his seventh year held for him.

The next day, Harry, Ron, and Hermione walked into the defense against the dark arts classroom for their first lesson with the duel professors. Ron and Hermione were holding hands as they walked down the halls and didn't seem to be separating any time soon, even when they sat down their hands were still interlocked. Harry trailed behind them a bit, he smiled at his friends, he was happy for them, but it felt very awkward to be around the couple these days. Harry decided to sit at the table in front of them with Neville, who gave him a grin as he sat down. They talked for a bit until the two professors walked into the classroom.

"Welcome back to the first day of classes, everyone!" Remus said cheerfully, everybody just gave him a playful groan.

"Oh, don't be like that," Sirius quipped, giving them a wolfish grin. Harry couldn't help the way a small smile creeped on his face at the man's antics.

"Today class," Remus picked back up, "we will be learning the Patronus charm, this spell is used for warding off creatures such as dementors and other dark entities, but it can also be used as a messaging device or an alarm system. It is a difficult spell, so if you don't get it on the first try, don't feel disappointed." Remus looked around the room and his eyes landed on Harry momentarily before continuing on. He went on to lecture about how the spell is cast, what the wand movement is, what the charm itself is, and how you need to manifest your happiest memory to produce it.

"is there anybody here who can already cast a Patronus?" Sirius asked with a bit of a smirk, Harry instantly lowered his head so that he wasn't looking anybody in the eyes, he _really_ didn't want to be called on.

Harry had spent all of last year keeping his head low and out of trouble, He was sick of being the center of attention, he just wanted to be a normal sixth year. He had, for the most part succeeded, except for when half of the females in the entirety of Hogwarts decided they wanted him and started giving him love potion laced chocolates and such. Poor Ron got the brunt of that one, though. He sighed softly as he felt all of the eyes in the classroom land on him, he knew he had magic, he knew he had strong magic, but that didn't mean he wanted to show it off to everybody all the time.

It also didn't help that his Patronus was one of the first things he cast after he turned 17, and he was very shocked to find that it had changed from its original stag form to a slightly smaller and female version of Sirius' Animagus form. He had sat on his bed in Grimmauld staring at it until it disappeared, then he cast the charm again and again to make sure he wasn't imagining things. Each time it was the same thing, he had laid back in his bed and curled into a ball, of course it had changed. Harry knew of only one reason that a person's Animagus form changed, he didn't like the implications that had on his feelings for his godfather.

Harry had noticed he liked the man early on in the summer before his seventh year when he made it back to Grimmauld, but he did his best to squash the feelings into the dirt. Sirius was his godfather, 20 years older than him, and not to mention straight. But the feelings never seemed to go away, in fact, the longer he spent at Grimmauld, the stronger they got. He wished he could cast an Avada on his emotions, sometimes.

Thankfully, Hermione must have noticed his discomfort because she cast the charm and her otter shot out, swimming through the air and coming to land on her shoulder before disappearing. "very good Ms. Granger! 20 points to Gryffindor for excellent spell casting!" Remus praised, Harry glanced up and saw his godfather giving him a strange look, Harry just looked back down at his desk.

"Alright everybody, now you try," Remus grinned, the students stood, Remus pushed all the chairs and tables over towards the sides of the room. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Neville all went over to one corner to just kind of talk, they all could produce a corporeal Patronus easily, so there wasn't much need to do it now. Harry sighed softly and hopped up to sit on one of the desks that had been moved, he swung his legs a bit as he watched the rest of the class try to produce their Patronus. Most of them were only producing small bursts of mist, but a few of them were getting some blob like shapes that were far better than just the wisps.

Harry watched as his friends cast the charms for fun, they were all laughing as the creatures circled and swirled around each other, Harry couldn't help but smile. He looked up just in time to see Sirius standing behind one of the girls in the class, one hand on her shoulder and the other on her hand to help guide her through the wand motions. Harry felt something ugly twist inside of him, he quickly looked away, now was not the time.

If he was going to be like this every day in class, he thought he might as well just not come.

He looked up when somebody stepped in front of him, Remus gave him a small smile, Harry gave him a weak one back. The man spent a lot of time at Grimmauld with Harry and Sirius this summer, so he had come to be uncle Moony more so than professor Lupin.

"are you okay?" Remus asked him gently, he could feel Harrys unease through his magic in the air.

"y-yeah I just…" he sighed and looked down again, "I don't know,"

"does it have something to do with why you are refusing to cast your Patronus?" Harry glanced back up at him before he nodded a little,

"it changed," he said quietly, sadly. Remus frowned, usually Patronus' only changed when the caster was in love, but why would Harry be so sad about it?

"why does that bother you, Harry?" he asked gently, he felt Harrys magic crackle around them as he tried to keep his emotions in,

"because he's straight," Harry choked out. Remus' eyes widened just a bit; he hadn't known Harry was gay. He patted him on the shoulder in a comforting way. He moved aside as Hermione came and jumped up next to him on the table, wrapping her arm around his shoulder and pulling him into her side.

"it's okay professor, you go back to teaching, we'll take care of Harry," she said softly, rubbing her friends back. Remus nodded hesitantly before leaving the small group of Gryffindor's. He heard Ron and Neville start cracking jokes behind him to get Harry to cheer up, Remus just hoped it worked.

Remus was helping another student when he heard the bell ring to dismiss them, he turned around to tell Harry to come to his office tonight, but he was already long gone, he glanced at the other three who were just staring at the door, probably because of the way he ran out. He went up to the other three instead, he found Sirius followed him over.

"is he okay?" Remus asked,

"yeah, he seemed a little out of it," Sirius sounded concerned as he glanced back towards the door where Harry had left.

Hermione gave them a guarded smile. "just a schoolboy crush, is all," she lied. Remus gave her a look. Patronus' didn't just change because of a crush, they only changed when you were irrevocably in love with someone, when all of your happiest memories included them.

"You know that it has to be more-" but he was cut off by a nasty look from the other three, he looked over at Sirius who just looked confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"Harrys Patronus changed," Remus answered before the others could say anything, when he saw the way Hermione looked at him, he took a half step back.

"But that means-" Sirius was cut off by the trio just up and leaving, one of them slammed the door behind them. Sirius winced and turned back to Remus, "what was that about?" he asked,

"Apparently," Remus sighed, "Harry is in love with someone, and the others are trying to protect him from the backlash."

Sirius' eyebrows furrowed "Why would there be backlash? For a Patronus to change it has to be deep love, how could he feel something so deeply and know for sure the other doesn't feel the same?"

Remus just shook his head, "I don't know," he lied in answer before he waved his wand and the door opened to let their second year students through.

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

A few weeks later, Harry was wandering the halls of the castle pretty late at night, just thinking. Every time he went to defense, he did well, but he couldn't stop himself from watching his godfather with the female students, it made him feel sick. Sure, he received a lot of Sirius' attention, but it never seemed to be the way he gave it to the girls. Harry momentarily thought that maybe he was just making up the change in attention type, that maybe he was just seeing things differently because he liked the other man. A part of him realized that that was the more rational thought, but he somehow couldn't find himself believing it.

He had been avoiding his godfather, as well. He hadn't meant to, but the more he stayed away, the more he ignored him, the less it hurt. It still hurt, of course, but it seemed to hurt just a bit less if he stayed away.

He heard footsteps nearby, Harry sighed and wished that he still had the marauders map, he had given it back to Sirius and Remus- it was their map, after all. He looked around to see if there was any place for him to hide, he was in a pretty empty expanse of hallway and he cursed under his breath. He looked up and directly above him he saw an alcove that a window sat in, it was well above eyelevel so he figured if he could get his way up there, whoever was coming towards him wouldn't see him. He closed his eyes and concentrated on being up on the windowsill, he felt his magic flow around him, with a quiet pop he appeared at his desired destination. He sighed in relief and tucked his legs up and backed into the corner so whoever it was couldn't see him.

"Harry?" he heard somebody call, he cursed when he realized it was Sirius, he would have the map, he would know he was here. He scooted further into the corner; thankful the marauders map didn't include altitude.

They moved and stood right where he had just been before he made his way onto the sill. "Harry, we know you're here," it was Remus who spoke this time. Harry leaned his head back against the wall behind him. He hoped that if he just stayed here and made no noise for long enough, they would go away. They stood there for a few minutes though, consulting the map and talking quietly amongst themselves.

He pinched the bridge of his nose; he would be up here all night at this rate. He wondered if he could cause enough of a distraction in the opposite direction of where he needed to go, that they wouldn't have time to look at the map and see him running. He took a deep breath and silently cast the Patronus charm. His Patronus gave him a soft lick on the cheek and it almost made him cry at how gentle it was. He sent her down at the end of the hallway, she sat and waited for the others attention. Harry waited with bated breath.

"Goddamn it Remus, I know he's here!" Sirius hissed quietly, pointing at the dot on the map that was almost directly on top of their two dots.

"Padfoot, you know Harry takes these walks to calm himself, maybe trying to corner him while he's already in a bit of distress isn't the best idea?" Remus asked quietly. Sirius just gave him a frustrated look,

"Oh, that's easy for you to say Moony, you're not the one he's actively avoiding," his voice was quiet, but Remus could hear the pain in it. He sighed and patted his friend on the shoulder, when he looked up, he started a bit, causing Sirius to do the same.

"Is that… is that padfoot?" Remus asked confused, down the hallway was a Patronus, sitting patiently and waiting for them to notice her. When she saw she had their attention she let out a tiny whine.

"No…" Sirius said, finding himself walking towards the dog, "padfoot is bigger, this looks more like a female companion to padfoot," he mumbled to Remus who was following him towards the Patronus.

As they got closer the Patronus let out a whimper, once they were close enough to touch, she stood and turned, barreling down the hall. Remus and Sirius looked at each other before chasing after it.

Harry watched as the two adults were led away from him and farther down the hall to the point Harry could barely see them anymore. He concentrated on getting down, once his feet were on the ground, he took his shoes off (for silence purposes) and ran in the opposite direction, back towards Gryffindor tower. When he didn't hear footsteps following him, he relaxed a little, but he didn't stop sprinting until he got outside the portrait of the fat lady. He was breathing heavily but he said the password and she seemed to understand because she opened for him, Harry made his way inside and trudged up the stairs to bed. That was a close one.

The two professors followed the Patronus for a bit, she finally stopped several hallways away from where they had started and calmly sat back down. they stopped in front of her and tried to get a better look, she let Remus touch her, but as Sirius came closer her ears drooped and she laid down, covering her eyes with her leg, before she dissipated into mist.

"What was that?" Sirius asked, even more confused than when they had started this goose chase. Remus looked back at the map finally and saw that Harrys dot had moved and was now stationary in Gryffindor tower. He frowned deeply and then looked back to where the Patronus had been, was that… was that Harrys Patronus? The one he had been hiding? And if so, why did it look so much like- Remus' eyes widened, things finally clicked, he rubbed his face tiredly, this explained a lot. He just shook his head and folded the marauders map back up before putting it in his pocket,

"Come on Sirius, it's getting late," was all he said as he grabbed Sirius by the arm and started leading them back towards the tower to go to their own suites.

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

Harry wasn't doing well. He knew he wasn't doing well; he hadn't been sleeping properly, he had barely been eating, he felt dizzy all the time and his magic and emotions were just all over the place. He thought maybe he had the wizards flu, but he hadn't been able to drag himself to the infirmary yet, he was too busy with schoolwork and studying and quidditch and avoiding Sirius like the plague. He knew he was hurting the other man's feelings, but Harry couldn't be in the same room as him for long without feeling like somebody was trying to rip his heart out.

They were in defense, Harry had somehow managed to drag himself out of bed and to the classroom this morning, which he thought was a feat all in itself. Remus and Sirius were lecturing about something up at the front of the room, but Harry couldn't think well enough to focus. He let out a quiet whimper, his head was killing him, he laid his head down on his desk and just hoped neither Remus nor Sirius looked at him too closely.

He wasn't so lucky.

Remus had just told the class to start practicing the spell he had just taught them, he moved the tables and chairs out of the way, but when he looked over, he found that Harry was still somehow sitting on his stool at his table, his head down, Remus frowned. He was about to go over to his honorary godchild when he saw Sirius had the same idea, he cursed under his breath and tried to call out to him, but he wasn't listening.

Sirius had spent the last month and a half trying to talk to Harry in private, or just to talk to him at all, but whenever he tried the boy either would be way too professionally polite or would somehow get away before Sirius could even get near him. He didn't know what he did wrong, but he wanted to fix it, he just wanted Harry back.

It was driving him crazy, seeing him in class and during meals but then nowhere else where he could properly talk to him. He knew Harry was avoiding him, and it hurt far more than Sirius wanted to admit. They had been fine over the summer, great even, but then they came back to Hogwarts and it seemed like something in the other Gryffindor just… flipped. It made Sirius want to see him more, be around him more, distance makes the heart grow fonder, he thought bitterly.

He would often be found in his rooms just drinking a glass of alcohol, well more staring at it, while he thought about Harry, his godson. His lovely, perfect, beautiful godson. It was one of those nights at the beginning of the term where he had realized he had somehow caught feelings for Harry. He felt disgusted with himself, the boy was half his age! Although whenever he thought about it, it never really bothered him like he thought it should have. When it finally dawned on him that he was falling in love with his godson, he knew he was in trouble.

Harry heard somebody call his name, the sounds were too muffled and felt too far away for him to be able to tell who said it.

"huh?" he asked dazedly, lifting his head up to look at whoever called out to him. when his eyes came into focus and he saw Sirius he winced just a bit, especially at the look of concern on his face, "Hey pad-professor Black," he corrected himself, the room was spinning, he was finding it really difficult to hold his head up. His head started to droop when he felt a hand rest under his chin and gently lift his head back up.

"Harry, are you alright?" Sirius asked, he hadn't meant to sound as worried as he did, hadn't meant to feel so relieved when Harry didn't flinch away at his touch.

"Don't feel good," he mumbled, closing his eyes, "'s okay, 'm fine," it felt like his skin was on fire where Sirius was holding his head up, like it burned. He couldn't help the shiver that escaped him at the way it sent electricity down his spine just at the simple touch.

"You obviously are not fine, Harry," Sirius said firmly, "come on, I'll walk you to the infirmary," he slowly removed his hand from Harrys chin so as not to jostle him. Harry opened his eyes and blinked at him a few times before he stood, he stumbled a bit as he stepped out from behind his desk and Sirius caught him with an arm around him.

Harry hung his head as he felt Sirius start to walk them out of the classroom, everything hurt, his head hurt, his body hurt, his heart hurt from how close but how far he was from Sirius. They had gotten a hall or two away when he heard Sirius start to speak.

"Harry?" his voice was soft, softer than Harry had ever heard it before. He let out a "hmmm?" to acknowledge him, his eyes were starting to close as they walked, he knew Sirius would take care of him.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" Harry frowned at the question, he felt his magic crackle around them, tears come to his eyes, goddamn whatever was making him so sick and emotional.

"Hurts," was all he responded with, his voice choked.

Sirius frowned at the answer, he had hoped he would get a more concrete response, but the one word didn't really give him much to go on.

"What hurts?" he asked gently, the hand of the arm that was around Harry started rubbing at his shoulder. Harry just shook his head and let out a quiet whimper,

"Hurts," he repeated. Sirius' frown only deepened.

"How do I make it not hurt, Harry?" his voice was so quiet, he was trying not to sound desperate, but he knew it showed in his voice anyway.

"You can't," Harry answered brokenly, just as they reached the infirmary and stepped inside. Sirius felt his heart shatter at how broken the man next to him sounded, he was about to ask why not, but madam Pomfrey bustled up to them and took Harry out of his grasp. Sirius frowned as she levitated him over to a hospital bed, he heard her thank him for bringing Harry up, and he knew a dismissal when he heard one. His shoulders slumped and he put his hands in the pockets of his robes as he walked back down to the defense classroom. He got there right as the seventh years were leaving.

Remus looked up to see his best friend just kind of float into the room, a distant look on his face, Remus furrowed his brows in confusion, "Sirius?" he asked, "are you alright?" he went up to his friend and placed his hands on his shoulders, Sirius didn't look up at him but he nodded weakly.

"I'm fine," he answered, Remus knew he was full of shit though, he sighed and lead Sirius over to the teachers desk and sat him down in the chair while Remus sat on the desk.

"No, you're not, and you haven't been alright for ages now. Does it have to do with Harry?" he asked with another sigh. When he saw Sirius nod he looked up at the ceiling and begged in his head for James and Lily to come down and help him somehow, when they didn't, he turned back to the Animagus.

"Sirius, you have to tell me what's wrong or else I can't help you," he said patiently, he was surprised when Sirius immediately answered,

"I don't even know what's wrong, I asked him why he's avoiding me and he just said it hurts, when I asked him what hurt he just repeated the word, I asked him how I could make it not hurt and he said I cant. I don't know what that means Remus, I don't know what to do, I've barely spoken to him in almost 2 months and it's just eating me up." Sirius rambled; he ran a hand through his hair to move it out of his face, but it just fell right back down. He didn't seem to care.

Remus once again looked up to beg his friends to come down and help somehow, he didn't know how he was supposed to handle this on his own.

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

_Harry was floating, and then suddenly he wasn't. he opened his eyes when he felt his feet touch ground, he looked around his surroundings in confusion. He was still in the infirmary, but it was empty, and there was a large glass pane that ran down the center of it. On the other side of it wasn't the other half of the room, but the other half of another room, Harry frowned especially when he saw Sirius materialize in the other room. He shook his head a bit and sat down on the ground with his knees pulled up to his chest, of course he was dreaming of Sirius, go bloody figure. _

_He started a bit when a woman appeared and sat down next to him, he looked over at her and recognized her from his photo album "m-mum?" he asked, she just smiled gently at him and pulled him into a hug. Harry hugged her back and tried not to cry into her shoulder, he looked over at the glass in the middle of the room and he saw his father materialize in front of Sirius, he didn't look quite as happy though, he glanced over at Harry and saw he was looking at him; his father gave him a small smile and a wave before turning back to Sirius. Harry was more than confused. _

"_Baby," his mother started soothingly as she pulled away from the hug to look at him, "you are hurting yourself, baby," she ran her hand through his hair and Harry leaned into her touch. He somehow knew what she was talking about immediately, maybe because this was dream space and it's in your own mind, so you just kind of know everything, _

"_It hurts," he whispered, "it hurts to be around him, mum, it feels like someone is trying to tear my heart out of my chest," she tutted her tongue gently and held him close to her side as he started crying, _

"_Yes, love will do that to you," her voice felt almost like singing to him, "but hiding away from him and how you feel isn't going to make things better, honey, it will only make things worse." _

"_Why will it make things worse? Why can't I just pretend that I'm not some pathetic human who fell in love with their straight godfather and who can't bloody well get over it?" he squeezed his eyes shut and pulled his knees back up to his chest. _

_Lily couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her, "Sirius is the farthest thing from straight, Harry." she hummed before continuing on more seriously, "It will only make things worse because you are denying the comfort you and your magic derive from being close to him. That is why you are so sick right now, my sweet, you have been avoiding him and pushing yourself to the max with other activities, you are running on empty here sweetheart."_

_Harry opened his eyes and looked over at the other room behind the glass, he noticed his father was sitting next to Sirius, his arm around his shoulders in a similar way Lily was doing to him now. He saw Sirius crying and Harry furrowed his brows in confusion, Harry turned back to his mother and laid his head on her shoulder. _

"_You have to let love into your heart, Harry," she said softly, _

"_What do you mean?" his voice was quiet, _

"_You have to open the walls around your heart and let someone else's love in, I know you are afraid, I know you don't want to open up, but it will be worth it when you do," she kissed his temple lovingly, Harry turned to look at her as she started to waver and fade. "I love you Harry, mum and dad are always with you when you need us, remember that," and with another wisp of a kiss to the forehead she was gone. _

Harry slowly woke up as the sun seeped through the windows in the hospital wing, he felt a little better but not really. He rubbed at his eyes, blinked a few times and sat up in bed, when he looked over at the bedside table to find his glasses, he saw something else sitting there. Harry put his glasses on his face and found that the other object was a small thin vase with a lily in it, he smiled, he guessed it wasn't just dream.

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

_Sirius found himself sitting at the edge of his bed in his bedroom, he looked around and saw that the only thing in the room was his bed, everything else was gone. He furrowed his eyebrows, had he woken up? and if so, why was everything so suddenly empty? He looked over and saw a glass pane in the middle of the room, but instead of his own room on the other side, it was the hospital wing, and Harry sat in the center of the floor curled into a small ball. _

"_Harry?" he tried to call, but the sound only bounced off of the glass. He saw as Lily appeared next to Harry and he frowned, he looked over just in time to see his own guest appear in his room. _

_James didn't look exactly happy, more so frustrated if Sirius could tell from the expression. He watched as James turned towards the glass, he smiled and gave a small wave before turning back to look at Sirius. _

"_Prongs?" Sirius asked hesitantly, he wasn't sure what to make of this whole dream. _

"_Padfoot," James greeted, nodding his head a bit, "we need to have a chat," Sirius winced, he knew what this was going to be about, and he was afraid of the outcome. _

"_I'm sorry, James," he said quietly, "I didn't… I didn't mean to-" James cut him off by shaking his head and going to sit down next to him on the bed. _

"_I know you didn't mean to, you idiot," James started, "love doesn't work that way, I know that. I'm not upset that you fell in love with him, it was bound to happen," _

"_What do you mean, bound to happen? How are you not upset that I've fallen in love with my godson, your son!" the self-loathing and disgust for himself crept up in his chest again, he felt tears come to his eyes and he only flinched a little when James smacked him upside the head. _

"_Padfoot, sometimes the dead just know things, I knew this was going to happen at some point, that you would have feelings for him, I just didn't know the how or when. At least you waited until he was 17," James teased and nudged his shoulder against Sirius'. Sirius just blinked at him; he didn't know how he was joking with him right now. _

"_I am not upset because you are in love with him, I am upset because you are hurting him," James said after a pause, serious again. He turned and pointed towards the glass where Sirius could see Harry sobbing as he spoke to Lily, her arm around his shoulders. She looked up and met Sirius' eyes, he was taken aback by the sad smile she threw his way before turning back to her son. _

"_I… I… how do I fix it? How do I stop hurting him James?" he pulled his eyes away from Harry and looked up at his old friend, he had tears streaming down his face now. "I don't know what I'm doing, I've been trying to talk to him for weeks and he won't come anywhere near me, he just…" _

"_keeps hiding behind his walls?" James finished for him, he wrapped an arm around Sirius' shoulders and pulled him into his side, Sirius just nodded. _

"_He loves you, you know," James hummed, Sirius turned to him with an incredulous expression. _

"_E-Excuse me? Prongs that a low blow even-" James just pinched him, Sirius jumped a bit, _

"_I'm not here to tell lies, Sirius. He loves you, that's why he's staying away. It hurts to be around you because he loves you so much that it hurts to think you don't love him. do you remember that night you tried to find him in the halls with the marauders map?" James asked with a hum, Sirius nodded weakly and let him continue to speak. _

"_Remember how you were right on top of his dot, but he wasn't around? Do you remember when you saw the female version of padfoot down the way?" Sirius nodded again,_

"_He was on a windowsill about 20 feet up, tucked in the corner, you wouldn't have seen him unless you climbed up there yourself. He needed to get down, you and Remus weren't leaving so-" _

"_So, he caused a distraction…" Sirius finished quietly, "That was why on the first day he wouldn't do his Patronus charm, because it had changed, because of me." He looked up at James who nodded and gave him a small smile, _

"_there's a reason his Patronus is a female version of padfoot, Sirius, you're going to have to do whatever it is you do,"_

_Sirius laughed softly, "Thanks James," James pulled Sirius into a full hug and Sirius hugged him back, when he pulled away James was already half faded. _

"_He doesn't think he deserves to be loved, show him he's wrong, Padfoot," he barely managed to get the sentence out before he faded away. _

Sirius sat up in bed with a gasp, he was panting slightly as he looked around his bedroom, finding all the furniture back where it was supposed to be and no glass pane in the middle. He sighed and shook his head, that was a strange dream. He wiped his face with his hands and looked over at his bedside table where a small piece of parchment lay. He picked it up,

"show him he's wrong, padfoot." Was what it read, Sirius stared at it for a while, perhaps it wasn't a dream after all.

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

Harry was allowed to leave the hospital wing that morning, much to his surprise. He still felt kind of awful, but it was better, madam Pomfrey told him to take it easy for the next few days and sent him on his way. Harry made it back up to Gryffindor tower, thankful it was a Saturday morning. How he managed to time that so perfectly, he didn't know. he made it up to his room and went to sit on his bed, when he got there, there was a small note sitting on his pillow, he cocked his head to the side and picked it up.

"**come to my suites at 5, **

**Padfoot"**

Harry read the note and remembered his dream, how the glass had separated him from Sirius and his father. If the part with his mother was real, then what was it that his dad said to Sirius? He felt nerves bubble up in his chest, he remembered what Lily said about letting people in, he decided to give it a shot.

Harry slept most of the day, but by 4 he was awake, and by 4:30 he was already dressed and ready to go. He was so nervous it felt like he was vibrating. He headed down to Sirius' rooms at 10 'til 5, he had to stop himself from running there, and then once he got to the door, he had to stop himself from running away. He took a deep breath and knocked.

Sirius opened the door and smiled at him; Harry only felt the butterflies in his stomach increase. Sirius moved aside so he could walk in and he did, he heard the door close as he was looking around Sirius' living room at all the decorations, he felt a hand on his wrist and then he was turned around, being pulled into Sirius' chest for a tight embrace. Harry tensed at first, but he found himself relaxing, he hugged him back and laid his head on his shoulder, his frayed nerves seemed to calm at the touch.

"Thank you for coming," Sirius hummed softly, Harry just nodded in response, he didn't know what else he was supposed to do, but he liked being held so he just kept doing that. He frowned just a bit when Sirius pulled away, but at the gentle smile sent his way, he couldn't help but return it. Sirius took hold of his hand and pulled them over to the couch.

Sirius sat down and Harry took the seat next to him. there was silence for a bit, then Sirius wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulder and pulled him into his side. Harry could feel their magics intermingling in the air, it calmed him.

"I've missed you," Sirius said quietly, he felt Harry lay his head on his shoulder and he liked the way the warmth filled his chest at the smaller man's trust.

"I've missed you too…" Harry whispered, "I'm sorry I've been so distant I just… it hurts, Siri…" he answered, squeezing his eyes closed. Sirius rubbed his arm where his hand lay, he nodded and encouraged him to continue,

"What hurts? Why does it hurt?" his voice was so tender, Harry thought he quite liked that voice directed at him.

"It feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest, and it just hurts so much," Harry whispered, he let out a noise when he felt Sirius scoop him up and place him in his lap,

Harry blushed furiously, "Sirius? What are you doing?" he asked quietly, not looking the other in the eyes.

"Trying to make it not hurt," Sirius whispered, he grabbed hold of Harrys chin gently, so he was looking at him, he ran his thumb across Harrys bottom lip and smiled when Harry hummed in response. He removed his thumb and cupped Harrys face, he brought him down and kissed him slowly. He felt the younger man melt in his lap and kiss him back.

When Sirius pulled away, he couldn't help the smile that graced his face, especially when he saw the lovesick expression Harry wore. "Does it still hurt?" he asked, he watched as Harrys eyes flicked down to his lips and then back up,

"I don't know, try again?" he whispered, Sirius just grinned and pulled him into another kiss. Harry tentatively moved his arms to wrap around his neck and play with his hair, Sirius hummed a bit to let him know he liked it, Harry relaxed against him, fitting together like puzzle pieces.

When they pulled away the second time, Harry laid his head on Sirius' chest and listened to his heartbeat while Sirius traced his fingers up and down Harrys spine.

"Siri?" Harry asked quietly, not lifting his head up,

"hmm?" Sirius hummed, kissing the top of Harry's head.

"What happens now?" Harry's voice was unsteady, wavering in his uncertainty.

"I don't exactly know," he responded honestly, "I would love for you to become my boyfriend, my lover," he hummed, running his fingers through the others hair.

Harry shivered at the words and he nodded, "I would like that, too." He murmured, Sirius grinned and continued to play with his hair.

"That part is figured out, now my next step is to figure out what the rules about students and professors dating are," Harry chuckled a little,

"you've always been good at breaking the rules, Siri'" Harry nuzzled at his neck and Sirius smiled,

"yes, I suppose I have."

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

Things got better for Harry from there, his mood lifted considerably and the magical exhaustion he was suffering from quickly went away with Sirius as his lover. When Sirius had looked into the rules, he found that teachers and students weren't supposed to engage in any sort of romantic relationship. Sirius didn't want to tell Harry that, but he knew he had to.

They were sitting in his rooms on the couch, Harry was curled up in Sirius' side and the Animagus pet his hair,

"Harry," he started, he heard a soft hum in answer, "I was looking over the rules, and from what I understand, students and teachers aren't supposed to be together," Sirius said softly. He felt Harry tense against him, he tried to pull away from Sirius, but he only held him tighter.

"Oh no you don't," Sirius responded, he moved Harry so that he was laying on top of Sirius, the older Gryffindor held him firmly in place. Harry hesitated a bit and laid his head down on Sirius' chest.

"Just because we're not supposed to, doesn't mean we aren't going to," Sirius' voice was calm and soothing, "I just needed to tell you, so you understood that we can't be like this in public at all until after you graduate,"

Harry nodded against him, he felt Sirius start to play with his hair again and it made him purr quietly. Sirius smiled down at his little love, he kissed the top of his head.

"So do not ever think I don't want you if I have to be a little colder outside of my rooms," he felt Harry nod again and he smiled. "might I have a kiss?" he asked, his eyes crinkling up in the corners at his joy. He heard Harry laugh softly and watched as he lifted his head up, he stole a firm and loving kiss from the smaller man above him.

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

Weeks passed with Harry and Sirius seeing each other at least twice a week. It was just a few hours here, some stolen moments there, but for Harry, it was enough for now. He was happy and laughing and excelling in his classes. It was December now, which Harry couldn't believe, the semester had gone by so quickly that he didn't know where it went. He smiled as he watched Hagrid put up the Christmas trees around the great hall, Harry looked up at the enchanted ceiling and the snow that was falling but that never quite reached them, things were well.

Harry was pulled out of his musings by Hermione grabbing his wrist and pulling him up, he stood and gave her a confused look, she just gave him a small smile,

"It's time for defense, Harry dear," Harry's eyes lit up just a little bit and he nodded, letting her pull him out of the great hall to head to class.

Harry had told Ron and Hermione about him and Sirius, he felt it wrong not to.

_*flashback*_

_Harry was sitting in the room of requirement; the room had mimicked the Gryffindor common rooms as its environment for his talk with his friends. Harry had written on the side of Hermione's notes "RR 7", he knew it would get back to Ron and they would be here soon. At 10 'til 7, Harry saw Hermione slowly opening the door, peering in cautiously before stepping in fully when she saw Harry. She gave him a smile, she would be a fool not to notice his increased moods, she knew this would be where he explained. _

_Ron and Hermione sat in the couch across from Harry's armchair, Harry smiled at them when Hermione took Ron's hand and leaned into his side. _

"_Hey guys," Harry said quietly, he gave them a nervous wave. Hermione and Ron looked at each other before back at Harry. _

"_Is this where we find out what has been making you so happy?" Ron asked, a bit of a smirk on his face, they watched as Harry blushed and looked down at his lap, but he nodded. _

"_It feels wrong not to tell you, but this can't leave this room," he said seriously, he looked up at his friends who were giving him strange looks. _

"_Harry, you're scaring us a bit," Ron responded, but he nodded, "it won't leave this room, we promise." _

_Harry nodded at his comment and he went quiet for a moment, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, "I'm dating Sirius." He said suddenly, looking up at his friends. They both sat there and blinked for a moment, Hermione was the first to respond with a grin. She got up off of the couch and hugged Harry, _

"_Oh Harry, no wonder you have been so happy!" she gushed, Harry smiled and hugged her back, he felt Ron step up to him and clap him on the back, _

"_Congrats, mate," his best friend said with a grin, "you've wanted this for so long, I'm glad you're finally able to have it." Hermione pulled away from him then, when she saw he was crying softly she wiped his tears from his face, her and Ron went back to sit on their own couch. _

"_So, I take it students and teachers aren't supposed to be in a relationship?" Hermione hummed, she saw Harry frown and then nod his head, looking down a bit, _

"_Yeah, it's against the rules. I mean, it's okay so long as the student is 17, but it is very frowned upon to be openly with a professor if you're a student, and vice versa," he sighed softly, "we can't be open with our relationship until after I graduate." he looked up at Hermione who hummed and was nodding, _

"_Your secret is safe with us." She said firmly, Ron just nodded his head. _

"_Hey, tell Ginny for me? I know she can keep a secret, and I just feel like she should know too." Harry said nervously, Ron nodded and the three of them hugged before making their way back to the actual common rooms._

_*end flashback*_

They hadn't mentioned it sense, the whole relationship thing, understanding the need for their relationship to be a secret, but Hermione always smiled when she saw how happy Harry was after visiting Sirius or just being in class with him.

They were coming into their last week of classes before they headed home for the holidays, the headmistress had told them a few weeks ago that they would be hosting a yule ball again this year, just minus the death games. Harry smiled, he knew he would enjoy his time, and he was looking forward to the dance at the end of the week, but he was also a bit sad that he couldn't spend it with Sirius. He reminded himself though, that right after, he would be at Grimmauld for 3 weeks, so it wasn't all bad.

They walked into the defense room and the Gryffindor's went over to their corner. Sirius and Remus walked in with smiles, they remembered what it was like to be in the last week before the holidays, so they had planned easy, more fun classes for the week.

"We won't be doing much defense today," Remus said, smiling at his students. "more so just playing around with some spells. I assume that will be okay?" he asked, he saw as the grins plastered over everybody's faces, he smiled as well.

Sirius and Remus taught them how to conjure mini snow clouds that they could control, the students looked quite interested in the spell, they were all practicing, talking, laughing, just genuinely having a good time. The two professors walked around the room to see if anybody needed help.

Harry conjured his snow cloud rather easily, he smiled as he waved his wand to make it go this way and that, creating a small snow pile on his desk.

"So, Potter," one of the other Gryffindor's started, Harry looked up to see Seamus smirking at him, "got a date for the dance on Friday?" he waggled his eyebrows, Harry gave him a calm smile and shook his head,

"No, I'm going stag," he said with a hum, he noticed the frown Seamus gave him.

"What do you mean you're going stag? You're not taking Ginny?" he asked, he jumped with an "ouch!" when he got an elbow to the ribs from Neville.

"_I'm_ taking Ginny," he said firmly, giving the other a bit of a glare. Harry gave him an apologetic smile, everyone still thought that Harry and Ginny were going to get together any day now. Harry always felt bad for Neville who was _actually_ dating Ginny, and had been for a few months now.

"Then why not take someone else, Harry?" Seamus asked, leaning back in his chair and putting his feet up on his desk,

"I mean it's not like you couldn't get any girl in the castle on their knees in front of you," he smirked. Harry felt a furious blush on his face,

"Finnigan, that is disgusting!" Harry gave him a look that showed just how grossed out he was. Seamus just laughed at him, thinking him joking,

"Come on Potter, I've seen how you sneak out of the dorm at least once a week, you can't tell me you aren't meeting someone in the room of requirement. Harry's face just flushed brighter, anger started to bubble up inside of him, he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked over to see Hermione giving him a wary look. Harry took a deep breath and tried to calm down. He could feel Remus and Sirius kind of lingering at the tables a few feet away to listen in.

At his blush Seamus grinned, "No way! You are seeing someone! Who is she? Is she a Gryffindor? A Hufflepuff?" he gasped "a Slytherin?!" he asked and leaned closer to Harry for the information. Seamus was lucky Hermione had calmed him down a bit, or Harry would have punched him.

"Finnigan, you might want to shut up," Ron said calmly, staring at Seamus while he moved his own little snow cloud around. Seamus just ignored him,

"Ooooh you have to tell me!" Seamus grinned, always wanting to hear the latest gossip, "what year is she in? is she in seventh? Sixth? Have you- y'know," he waggled his eyebrows, looking Harry up and down.

Harry stared at him incredulously, they were in the middle of class for fucks sake! And he couldn't even say anything against it. He pinched the bridge of his nose and just turned around in his seat, when he turned, he saw Sirius standing in front of their table, he gave Harry a look and Harry just hung his head a little bit.

"Hey! Professor Black!" Seamus grinned, Sirius looked up at Seamus and tried not to give him a dirty look.

"Yes, Seamus?" he asked calmly,

"You got a date to the dance?" now he waggled his eyebrows at his professor, Harry thought he was really fucking stupid. "like a seventh year maybe? Or another woman you might be seeing?" he looked down at Sirius' hand and he saw no ring, he smirked again, Sirius gave him a weird look and Seamus thought it was about the seventh-year thing. Harry felt anger bubble up inside of him again, Sirius was his, not any woman's. He also felt pain, not being able to say anything, not being able to be Sirius' lover outside of their once or twice a week meeting.

"Oh, come on professor, you could get any seventh year girl easily!" he saw as Sirius' eyes flashed with a bit of anger and he frowned just a bit.

"I am in a relationship, Mr. Finnigan, but my partner will not be joining me at the dance," he answered calmly, he had gotten pretty good at the whole controlling his temper thing in the last couple of years, but there was no doubt he was not in a good mood. He glanced down at Harry and saw the boys clenched fists and pained expression, his frown and own distaste for the Irishman growing.

"Finnigan, you're gonna wanna shut up now before you get your mouth sewn shut," Hermione said coldly, her eyes flicking between Harry and Sirius. Seamus pouted and crossed his arms,

"Fine! you guys ruin all the fun," he grumbled,

"Go talk to McLagan about the chicks he's seeing, I'm sure there's enough information there to get you through the rest of the week," Hermione gave him a disgusted look.

The bell to signal the end of class rang, all the students started to pick up their things to head out,

"Harry," Sirius called quietly, Harry looked up at him, a weird mix of emotions on his face. "follow me to my office, please?" he asked, he gave a fake edge to his voice so none of the others were suspicious, but his eyes were soft. Harry nodded and put his bag over his shoulder, following him.

Harry stepped into the office and put his bag down, he heard Sirius close and lock the door behind them. Sirius walked up to him and turned him around, kissing him sweetly. Harry relaxed into the kiss and took a step forward, wanting to get closer, Sirius indulged him and wrapped his arms around his waist. They separated when breathing became more of a need than not, Harry looked up at him, panting softly.

"I'm sorry I can't take you to the dance," Sirius said softly, he lifted his hand up to rest on Harry's cheek, Harry leaned into his touch.

"Don't be sorry, I don't mind, I mean- the next day we get to go home, and I get to spend 3 whole weeks with you," he smiled softly. Sirius kissed him again, it was sweet and slow and loving, when he pulled away, he noticed Harry looked a little dazed but happy. He kissed his cheek,

"Go on, Harry, you need to get to class," Sirius whispered, Harry nodded and pecked his lips before Sirius unlocked the office door and Harry left with a small wave.

Sirius sighed, the next few months until graduation were going to be rougher than he thought.

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

Harry walked down in a group with his friends, all of them dressed to the nines. They were seventh years, this was going to be their last school function, they wanted to go all out.

Harry smiled as his coupled off friends walked arm in arm, he didn't mind being alone tonight, he would get to see Sirius and that would be enough for today. They had all bought new dress robes, Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, and Harry himself. Well, the girls bought new dresses, which they looked stunning in. The men didn't look half bad themselves, the three of them looked like fine young men, Harry couldn't help but chuckle at the notion.

They walked into the great hall and Harry stared at the decorations, it truly was beautiful. He looked around the hall and smiled at how nice everybody looked, he watched as his friends instantly went onto the dancefloor, a slow song already on for the couples, he smiled sadly and made his way over to the drinks table. He bought a glass of wine at the bar they had set up for the of age students, he went over and leaned against the far wall, just watching his friends dance with a small smile.

Harry stayed against the wall for a while, looking around the room and trying to see if he could spot Sirius in the mess of people, he sighed a bit when he couldn't. he heard somebody walk up to him and he smiled when he saw Hermione.

"Care for a dance, Harry?" she asked holding her hand out to him, Harry grinned and put his glass down, he placed his hand in hers and they walked out onto the dancefloor. Harry had a great time, dancing with Hermione, they joked and laughed, and Harry did very well not to step on her feet like he would have back in their fourth year.

Hermione handed him off to Ginny and they danced for a bit, "We knew you couldn't dance with the person you really wanted to dance with," she said with a hum as he spun her, "so we figured if you get to dance with all of us, maybe it will be almost as good," she smiled at him a little, Harry smiled back and almost felt like crying, he had the best friends.

From Ginny he went to dance with Ron, the two laughed and at some points were trying to purposefully land on the other's feet, seeing who could dodge the best. After the that Harry and Ron danced to had ended, the 2 couples went back to dancing with each other. Harry smiled and went back over to his place on the wall, picking his wine glass back up and sipping it leisurely.

"Fancy seeing you here," Harry smiled as he heard Sirius lean against the wall next to him, he looked over at his lover and couldn't help the hitch in his breath at how beautiful he looked.

"Whoever couldn't make it to the dance tonight, sure is one lucky person," Harry said, referencing the conversation from class earlier in the week, they locked eyes for a moment and Harry could tell Sirius was having a tough time keeping a distance from him, he looked away, hoping it would make it easier.

"Mmm," Sirius finally hummed, "what about you, Mr. Potter? your mystery partner must feel blessed to be able to call you theirs," Sirius watched as Harry's face turned red, he couldn't help the small smirk that graced his face. "they must wish they could be dancing with you, now."

Harry glanced up at Sirius through his eyelashes, "maybe I will get to dance with them another time, just the two of us in the room," his voice was quiet and he looked away after a small moment, staring off into the distance of the dancefloor, "I'm sure whoever your partner is whishes they were in your arms as opposed to their own."

Sirius just wanted to reach out and pull Harry into him, just wanted to kiss him and show him how much he wanted him. he lifted his hand and placed it on Harry's shoulder, Harry looked up at him and smiled, that would have to do for now. Sirius squeezed his shoulder and then let his hand fall again, they spoke for a while, just about anything and everything. Harry had been pulled back onto the dancefloor by Hermione and Ginny, Sirius watched with a sad smile, wishing he could be the one Harry was dancing with.

Harry went back over to Sirius with a tired smile, "I think I'm going to head in early and go to sleep, I'll see you in the morning?" he hummed softly, feeling warm from the alcohol coursing through him.

Sirius looked at him with a thoughtful look for a moment, "If you would like," he said quietly, "you are more than welcome to stay over in my rooms for the night, to make it easier for the travel in the morning?" his voice was soft but it held confidence. He saw Harry's eyes widen just a bit, barely noticeable to anybody who hadn't spent much time with Harry. He watched as Harry's smile grew.

"Yeah, I think I would like," was the response Sirius received. The Animagus grinned and walked with Harry out of the great hall, back to his suites. When they reached Sirius' rooms, he grabbed Harry on either side of his face and kissed him deeply. Harry let out a small happy noise as he stepped closer to his lover, deepening the kiss just a bit.

Sirius had to force himself to pull away before things got too heated. He looked down at his loves face and he gave him a light peck before stepping back just a bit.

"Come, let us go to sleep," Sirius hummed, he lead Harry into the bedroom, this was the first time Harry had been anywhere but the living area in Sirius' suites, he looked around and smiled at how it looked almost identical to the room behind the glass pane in his dream with his parents.

Sirius watched him look around and he couldn't help the loving smile that came on his face, he took out pajamas for himself and went to change in the bathroom. Sure, they had changed in front of each other before, but it was different now. When he came out, he saw Harry sitting on the edge of his bed just petting the soft blanket. He went over to him and kissed his temple, Harry looked up at him and smiled,

"pajamas are the third drawer down, feel free to wear whatever you'd like," he hummed, Harry nodded and got up going over to the dresser. he watched Harry pick what he wanted to wear and then head into the bathroom himself. Sirius' breath caught in his throat when Harry came out, dressed in Sirius' clothes. Something about it made Sirius feel even more possessive than he already was. he must have been staring because Harry blushed and looked down at the floor.

Sirius shook himself out of his thoughts, he went over to Harry and pulled him gently back towards the bed. Harry was hesitant but he climbed in and snuggled down into the blankets. Sirius grinned and climbed in after him, he pulled his love to his chest, spooning him. Harry must have enjoyed the position because he hummed happily,

"goodnight Sirius," he mumbled, Sirius smiled and kissed the top of his head,

"goodnight, Harry," he whispered before waving his hand and turning the lights off around them.

When Harry woke up the next morning, he felt warm and loved. He nuzzled into the chest in front of him and couldn't help the happiness that radiated from him. He felt a tired chuckle rumble through the chest he was laying on, Harry just snuggled closer.

"Warm," he commented, sleep slurring his voice, he just heard Sirius chuckle again before Harry found himself at the end of a sweet kiss. When they pulled away Harry smiled and laid his head back down on his lovers chest.

"Harry," Sirius called softly, "we need to get up soon, or we might miss the train," he reasoned, Harry let out a small groan, but he ultimately detached himself from Sirius. Harry sat up and stretched before putting his glasses on, he looked over and saw Sirius giving him this look that made Harry blush, the blush only intensified the look. Harry shook his head and stood, he summoned a pair of jeans from his trunk in the dorms and went in the bathroom to change.

Sirius sat up once Harry was out of the room. He stretched as well and yawned, he saw Harry peak his head out of the bathroom, a little nervous, Sirius raised his eyebrow at him. "can… can I wear your shirt?" he asked quietly, it smelt like Sirius and it made him happy to be subtly marked as taken.

Sirius felt something inside of him stir, he forced it down as he nodded, "you may," was his answer, he saw the smile on Harry's face before he ducked back into the bathroom. He came out only a minute later. Harry was dressed simply, basically trading out Sirius' pajama pants for his own jeans, but the oversized t-shirt that slipped down over Harry's shoulder made him think he may just be the most beautiful creature on the planet, and Harry was all his.

"Come here," he commanded, it's soft, but it isn't a question. Harry blushed at the tone and went over to Sirius, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him, Harry looked up at him with a shy smile.

Sirius couldn't help it, he leaned down and kissed Harry hard, pulling him into his lap and holding him close. Harry had gasped but, in the end, he melted against Sirius, his hands moved to play with Sirius' hair, but other than that he let Sirius do to him what he wanted.

Sirius forced himself to pull away, now was not the time to ravish Harry. he looked down and quite thoroughly enjoyed the kiss swollen lips and the slightly out of it expression his love had. He kissed his forehead and gently pushed him back onto the bed so Sirius could go change. He came out in a similar outfit; except he wore robes over his clothes. Harry gave him a smile and Sirius held out his hand for him to take, Harry took it and let Sirius pull him into a hug.

"Only a few more hours and I can hold you and kiss you whenever I want," he hummed. Harry smiled and Sirius could feel his happiness through the magic in the air. He gave him another quick kiss before they pulled away and left the rooms, they talked easily as they walked from the castle to the train station where the Hogwarts express was waiting for them.

When they entered the train, Harry went left towards the compartment his friends always stayed in, and Sirius went right to the teacher compartment. Sirius walked in and sat down next to Remus who was already there reading a book. The werewolf looked up at his friend and raised an eyebrow.

"You look happy," he commented, Sirius just gave him a wolfish grin.

Sirius had told Remus he was seeing Harry shortly after they got together, it was only fitting he tell his best friend. Although he did get a very thorough lecture on how he should have waited until after Harry already graduated and how if anybody important found out he could very well lose his job, but other than that, Remus seemed happy for them.

"Does it have anything to do with mystery partner staying with you in your suites last night?" Remus asked, smirking. Sirius smacked his shoulder and glared a bit,

"Yes, but not like that!" he had the good nature to blush, Remus just laughed and went back to his book.

Harry walked to his train compartment where his friends were with a small smile on his face. When he walked in, he saw Ron, Hermione, and Ginny look him up and down and then give him grins at the t-shirt that obviously wasn't his. Harry blushed and ducked his head as he sat on the other side of Ginny.

Ginny gave him a look and then tugged at the arm of his shirt while giving him a raised eyebrow.

"Nothing happened, I swear!" he groaned into his hands, "I just… we went to sleep and he let me wear some of his clothes to bed and I didn't want to take it off…" he peaked his eyes out to look over at his friends who were just giving him gentle smiles, they knew how important Sirius was to him, and they were glad that he got to be happy with him.

When Sirius and Harry stepped off the train, Sirius immediately grabbed Harry and apparated them away. They landed in the Livingroom and Harry smiled as he looked around where he's called home the last couple of years. He felt Sirius hug him from behind and he leaned into his chest.

Sirius hummed as he swayed them back and forth, Harry turned in his arms and wrapped his arms around his neck, leaning their foreheads together and just dancing for the sake of dancing.

Harry relaxed into the embrace, a small smile on his lips as Sirius held him. "Hey Sirius?" Harry whispered after a while, looking up at his boyfriend shyly,

"Yes, Harry?" Sirius hummed, holding him closer.

"I love you," his voice was so quiet it wasn't even a whisper, Sirius had to strain to hear it but when he processed what Harry said his eyes widened. He saw the apprehension in his lovers eyes, as if he was waiting to be rejected. Sirius leaned down and kissed him slowly.

"I love you too," he whispered against his lips, tears filled Harry's eyes as he pulled him down for another kiss.

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

Christmas break went by far too quick, in Harry's opinion. They stayed in all break, just enjoying each other's company and the love they felt for one another. Harry got to spend all of his time wrapped up in Sirius' embrace and if he was honest, he thought he was in heaven.

It was the night before they would have to go back to the school and Harry was sitting on the couch in the Livingroom just kind of staring at the fire somberly. This is how Sirius found him, a cup of tea gone cold in his hands and a despondent look in his eyes. The Animagus walked over to Harry and sat down on the couch next to him, he rubbed Harry's thigh with a hum, just to let Harry know he was there.

Harry put his mug of tea down on the side table before he laid his head on Sirius' shoulder, letting him continue his administrations. "I don't want to go back," Harry said quietly.

He did want to go back to Hogwarts, to finish his last year and be able to say he completed his schooling despite everything he had been through, but he hated having to hide his relationship with Sirius.

"I know baby," Sirius said softly, leaning down and kissing the top of his head. "but there's only a few more months, and then you will have graduated, and I will get to be with you like this all the time,"

Harry smiled a little at the thought, he looked up at Sirius and pulled him into a sweet kiss. Sirius hummed in response, he kept his one hand on Harry's thigh and the other rested on the back of the boys neck.

"I love you," Harry whispered against his lips, Sirius decided to show him just how much he loved him by kissing him deeply and pulling him into his lap. Harry melted against him and Sirius moved his hands so that they were resting on Harry's hips. He ran his tongue along his lover's bottom lip, he was very happy when Harry allowed him entrance immediately. There wasn't even any fight for dominance, Harry just let him take control of the situation. Sirius moaned quietly as Harry gave him complete control, he squeezed Harry's hips only for him to move and straddle Sirius, deepening the kiss. Sirius gasped softly, he lifted his hands to rub Harry's chest under his shirt, trying to gauge how far was too far.

Harry loved the touches, goosebumps spread over his skin as Sirius trailed his fingers along his chest, Harry rolled his hips a little bit and gasped at the hard member that started poking into his thigh, he felt Sirius hesitate, so he just leaned forward until his own hard on pressed into Sirius. Sirius pulled away from the kiss, panting softly,

"Harry, are you sure-" Harry nodded before he could even finish his sentence,

"very sure," he whispered, something passed in Sirius' eyes and he picked Harry up, carrying him towards their room.

The two of them lay in bed basking in their afterglow, Harry was tucked into Sirius' side with his head on his chest, he purred softly as Sirius played with his hair.

"I love you," Harry heard him whisper, Harry looked up at him and gave him a tired but blissful smile,

"and I love you."

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

They made their way back to Hogwarts the next day, both of them a little sad to have to go back to pretending there was nothing between them, sad at having to go back to stolen kisses and secret meetings. Sirius reminded both himself and Harry that it would only be a few more months, and then they wouldn't have to hide anymore, the thought seemed to ease both of them.

The shirt that Sirius let him wear the night before they left for Christmas break became the shirt Harry wore most frequently to bed, as well as the one he would wear on weekends if he wasn't planning on leaving the dorm except to eat. He loved wearing it, and he loved the looks Sirius would give him any time he saw Harry wearing it.

-HHLL HHLL HHLL-

They were so close now, only a few weeks until graduation, Harry just had to finish up his classes, take his newts, and then walk across that stage and he would be done. He was so close to being able to show everybody just how much he loved Sirius, he just had to make it the last 2 and a half weeks.

The two weeks went by slower than the entire school year did, Harry thought. He was finally wearing his graduation robes, though, waiting in line for his name to be called so he could walk across that stage, shake the professors hands, and then officially be no longer a student at Hogwarts.

"Harry Potter," Dumbledore read out, he gave Harry a soft smile and shook his hand once Harry got up to him, "you've done well, my boy," he clapped him on the back, "congratulations, to everything you've accomplished sense attending this school." He spoke warmly, Harry thought he might cry from the headmasters words. He nodded his head and continued down the line of professors, shaking each of their hands and receiving praise from them, even Snape told him he was proud.

Sirius was the last professor on the row, Harry became giddier the closer to his lover he got. He stepped in front of the man and smiled, holding his hand out for him to shake. Sirius had a fire in his eyes that he usually only had when he was about to ravish Harry, the graduate shivered as the man took his hand and shook it firmly, a look of promise in his eyes. Harry gave him a small smile before making his way off of the stage, going to sit down in his seat.

He listened as the rest of the names were called and the students walked up to receive their diploma and their handshakes. Once the last person walked and ended up back to their seat, the students all stood. They listened to a goodbye speech from Dumbledore before they all threw their caps in the air, officially graduated.

Dumbledore dismissed everybody before stepping down from the podium, everybody separated to go find their individual families. Harry was dragged over to the sea of redheads by Ron, he laughed as he was hugged by each of the older brothers and Weasley parents. They spoke for a bit, until Harry noticed someone over their shoulders that he very much wanted to see. He excused himself and stepped around the family, walking quickly over to Sirius.

Once he was within arm's reach, Sirius pulled him into a tight hug, "I'm so proud of you," he whispered, Harry felt the tears well up in his eyes at the words,

"thank you," he whispered back. They pulled away from each other and Harry looked up into his lovers eyes, he smiled softly.

Sirius grabbed both sides of Harry's face and rubbed his thumbs along the skin slowly, Harry closed his eyes and hummed at the touch, when he opened them again, he saw that fire back in Sirius' eyes and it made tingles spread through his body. He was pulled into a deep kiss, it was slow and loving and passionate, Harry melted against Sirius, wrapping his arms around his neck. When Sirius pulled away Harry grinned, a warmth spreading through him at finally being able to be Sirius' 24/7.

"I love you," Sirius whispered, Harry moved and nuzzled his neck,

"I love you too, Sirius. I love you too."


End file.
